Hi friends, three years ago I sent out my first newsletter—a massive email to my friends and family after I’d poured my heart into making a podcast for my local newspaper and radio station (Unhoused). I wanted a way to share my work (and the process that went into it) from a more personal place, because the finished product is rarely the whole story.
I pour my heart into all my work, for better or worse. And all that I experience gets filtered through me, often ending up in my work in subtle or not-so-subtle ways. The music I listen to influences my writing; the colors I’m around imbue my mood. What I consume becomes a part of me, if only for a moment, and it’s probably the same for you. We are what we eat, they tell us—and what we listen to, what we look at, what we ponder. All that we take in through our senses must be filtered one way or another, or things get stuck. They show up in dreams, or achy lower backs, or nagging thoughts, a jumpiness that won’t go away. Processing is different for everyone. How we process depends on who we are, and what’s happening around us. Sometimes we have to tuck away experiences to deal with later, sometimes we do that subconsciously. Sometimes it’s necessary because whatever is present is more demanding, sometimes we hide from our senses out of fear.
This space—senses + sensibilities—is my celebration of processing, the sticky and messy filtering that happens in a highly stimulating world. I’m a highly sensitive person (HSP, iykyk) and get overwhelmed when I intake too much without . Do you ever feel oversaturated? Like, too full, not in stomach, but in mind? Writing releases my thoughts—an active filtering that clears as it sifts. It’s cathartic and meaningful for me to write about what I consume. I get to honor the experience and let it go, making room for what’s next.
Heartbreak is among the stickiest substances and still clings to my insides. How to keep working it through me? Do I chill what’s left and chip at it like gum on the bum of a pair of jeans? Or warm it, and rub at it like goo left behind a bottle’s label? There’s no right answer, of course, only a call to keep working through.
WHAT I’VE BEEN READING
The Snow Child. Set in 1920’s Alaska, we meet Mabel and Jack, a middle-aged couple struggling to establish their homestead in the wild north, just as their life is about to be upended: A young, blond-haired girl begins to appear around their cabin and woods. She is alone, seems incredibly capable, though shy. Is she a child of the woods? The novels unravels her story, inspired by old arctic fables, and written here by an Alaskan journalist-turned-bookseller (!) Eowyn Ivey who I now desperately want to befriend. Set in an unforgiving yet majestic land, this is a gorgeous story about love, family, parenting, and the importance of communion with all earthly beings. If you liked Delia Owen’s Where the Crawdad’s Sing or Kristin Hannah’s The Four Winds, I think you’ll like this, too.
Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder. About once a month, I pick a random book off a bookstore’s shelf, and I begin to read it immediately. My only rule is that I can’t have heard of the title before—I’ll take a few to look at, guided by instinct, then decide impulsively what to read. It’s fun and it keeps my reading fresh. Nightbitch came from this game—I was at Bottles + Books, a cute bookshop in St. Petersburg, Florida, where I spent a week in January for the Writers In Paradise conference/workshop, and the book’s spine called to me. Holy hell, I loved it! An artist turned stay-at-home mom becomes convinced she's turning into a dog… as the pressures of motherhood mount, her temptations to give into her new dog impulses intensify. Where will she find her cure? In Baby Book times at the library? By returning to her art? By joining the other mommies in their MLM schemes? I underlined so, so, so many passages—her writing has verve! “An outrageously original novel of ideas about art, power, and womanhood wrapped in a satirical fairy tale, Nightbitch will make you want to howl in laughter and recognition. And you should. You should howl as much as you want.”
In the Dream House. To say this memoir by Carmen Maria Machado floored me would be an understatement. The ways in which she weaves her stories makes it to obvious that art is IT, the mechanism that will change our world: she chronicles a multi-year abusive relationship, and does so with such care and precision, she’s able to deliver hard truths in ways equally digestible and beautiful, while still maintaining a haunting and literary beat. The greatest inspiration! All hail CMM!
Swimming Home by Deborah Levy. I’m not 100% sure I understood this book. If you read it, did you? Stylistically, it reminded me of a cross between Virginia Woolf and Sally Rooney.
North Woods by Daniel Mason. How cool. What a journey. You stay in one New England cabin, but you travel great distances across the human spirit and English language and time (three centuries). As the generations pass, the language he uses evolves as if with the times, and each occupant faces experiences that begin layer atop one another, building a rich rich story!
Ocean State by my Writers In Paradise workshop instructor, Stewart O’Nan. A thriller wrapped in a story of sisters and first love, says the NYT. We talked so much in workshop about building tension between characters, and using dialogue to press scenes forward, and it was so cool to see his instruction / theories play out before me in the novel! He triangulates a community of teenagers in Rhode Island, and has one of the best first lines: “When I was in eighth grade, my sister helped kill another girl.”
The Guest by Emma Cline. I loved loved loved this novel as a take on female ingenuity. A young woman’s older rich boyfriend kicks her out, and she uses her ability to navigate the desires of others to keep herself afloat in the most unlikely places: waterfront enclaves of wealthy people, the private beach houses of strangers, the bedroom of a random teenage girl she meets at a country-clubby pool she snuck into by pretending to know a toddler. It’s a fun and strangely compelling journey.
WHAT I’VE BEEN LISTENING TO
“Good People” by Mumford & Sons x Pharrell Williams: “I’m done being tired so right now I’m inspired / I was once under water and now I’m on fire” (on freaking repeat over here)
“Northern Attitude” by Noah Kahan x Hozier: “If I get too close / And I'm not how you hoped / Forgive my northern attitude / Oh, I was raised out in the cold”
“Coal” by Dylan Gossett: “…they say pressure makes diamonds / How the hell am I still coal?”
“Believe” by OK Kaya: “Do you believe in life after love?” (Thank you, Carly, for sharing this one!)
Olivia Rodrigo performing on NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert.
Samia performing on NPR’s Tiny Desk Concert.
WHAT I’VE BEEN WATCHING
(⭐️/5)
Poor Things ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ There is so much to love about this feminist Frankenstein film—Emma Stone’s character, Bella Baxter, awakes one day as a grown woman with an infant’s mind. She must learn everything, to use her body, talk, etc. again, as all babies do. The way Emma Stone embodies Bella’s evolution is so elegant, like Daniel Mason’s command and display of the English language. Bella learns as we all do, from what is happening around her. She provides refreshing reactions to what are annoying everyday occurrences, often balking at how much men presume women will do for them. Artistically, I loved it, and I didn’t mind that the world didn’t totally make sense, but I did feel like the storyline could’ve been tighter, as though a few happenings seemed a tad convenient… or Emma Stone really just outshone everyone around her.
Rustin ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ A biopic about Bayard Rustin, who helped organize the March on Washington with MLK Jr. This quote, from a scene where Rustin being dragged off a bus to be beaten by police for resisting racist seating arrangements, hasn’t left my brain: “When an individual is protesting society's refusal to acknowledge his dignity as a human being, his very act of protest confers dignity on him.”
Wonka ⭐️⭐️ There was just enough to keep adults entertained, and I loved overhearing so much children’s laughter in the audience. It was good for my soul.
Grey’s Anatomy ⭐️⭐️⭐️ My mother introduced me to Grey’s in December, when she visited me and helped care for me while I was heart-sick. What an American soap opera! I love the drama, tbh. And I appreciate how many episodes contain mini short stories—the show writers are v smart!
WHAT I’VE BEEN EATING
In the sick-thick of heartbreak, it was so hard to eat. Today marks 7 days (!), my first full week (!) of eating 3 real meals a day since I lost my appetite in early November. So I’m celebrating! Progress! I cooked/prepped a lot of “bowls” to help keep things simple (thanks, Sonya, for your recs!): rice and bean bases with different veggies and types of fish I could rotate around and put on top.
During my week in Florida, I had the most delicious and eclectic oysters, plus fresh-fish sandwiches and so much fruit! I miss the ocean!
WHAT I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT
How cool my friends are! They are launching businesses, creating the most beautiful things to share with the world, raising vibrations, volunteering to support their communities, holding power to account… I am so inspired by y’all!
The fact that there are multiple wars and genocides and climate catastrophes forcing migrations all over all at once… and how I literally cannot process it all all the time. Can you?
WHAT I’VE BEEN LEARNING
Heartbreak does need time to process. Time does its work! Thank you, time!
After a week at Writers in Paradise, a fiction-writing workshop I attended in St. Petersburg, Florida, I am full to the brim with new craft concepts and writing ideas. I learned so much in one week! Here’s what I wrote on Instagram about it:
It’s still hard to articulate how impactful my week at @writers.in.paradise was, my first fiction-writing workshop and conference. For eight days, I stayed near @eckerd_college and watched the sun lift over Tampa Bay, moisture-rich air rehydrating my pores. From Steward O’Nan and Luis Alberto Urrea and Ana Menendez and Morgan Jerkins and Jonathan Escoffrey and Andrew Dubus III and Gloria Muñoz. I learned so so so much! For six of the days, I met with 11 other short-story writers and Stewart O’Nan, and we hashed out each others’ stories, one at a time. Reviewing our impressions, critiques, questions, and polishing our concepts of craft. To attend the workshop, I applied with a story I’d begun to write in January 2023. Tentatively titled “The Living Will and Testament of Mariana de Soto,” these dozen humans traveled with me to a cabin in the middle of the woods, where something unseemly has begun its course on the night of a terrible storm. An old woman and a young woman collide in the cabin at midnight, each tortured in their own way—and realize the keys to their liberation lie in one another. So begins their quest to trade and unlock themselves. Cue some witchy realism, a lil revenge-empowerment narrative, and nods to few of my favorites (Fernanda Melchor, Mariana Enríquez, Natalia Ginzburg) and this story is slowly coming to heart-beating life! To spend a week with others as obsessed with reading and writing and talking about it all as I am was so so so special 🔥✨my to-read list is now a mile high. I want to hug all my classmates all over again for helping blast open my eyes and nurturing my heart. Thank you thank you thank you 💗
Movie screenplays are really fun to read! I read the Poor Things screenplay before I saw the movie, and it was so cool how much the mind colors in the gaps natural to a screenplay. Here it is if you’re curious.
WHAT I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO
Wrapping up my time in Carbondale / the Roaring Fork Valley in the next five weeks. This is, of course, bittersweet… but I am looking forward to a great road trip in March, driving from Colorado to New Mexico, then along the southern coast to Washington D.C., where I’ll be camping out in my parent’s backyard/basement for the summer.
Selling / gifting things from my home and closet as I prepare for this move. Check out my things here for now 😈 https://noihsafbazaar.com/shops/eathena
xx Emma
What’s been tickling your senses this month? Leave a comment or hit the reply button!